Who is your other half?

I once had a discussion with a boy my age on an airplane about religion. I’m Jewish and he was an extreme Christian (maybe catholic?), to put it mildly. Given that fact, it is easy to imagine why he was so antiabortion and against gay marriage. I argued for gay mariage to be allowed. Humans are allowed to be happy, as long as it doesn’t interfere with human rights or ends up in murder. Our discussion has been prominent in my mind lately, which is why I thought I should share my perspective on the touchy subject.

Are you allowed to be happy? If someone made you happy, no matture the gender, would you want to be around them? Are you not allowed to marry your other half, even if your other half is of the same gender?

The day of your marriage is said to be the happiest day of your life. Why would you ever prohibit someone from being that happy with someone else? Recently, and not so recently, there have been quite a few stories on the news where a judge would not marry a gay or lesbian couple. Why? It is no different than marrying a man and a women together. A human partnering with another human being for life should not be prohibited.

There is nothing wrong with someone who is gay or lesbian. They are just as average or normal as you or me. It seems to me that many people feel that they are inferior, that there is something in their brains that makes them attracted to the “wrong” gender. Who has the right to say what is right and what is wrong? Everything in life is relative, so unless you are gay or lesbian yourself, you have no right to judge or prohibit such a relationship from existing.

The only reason why people have such a problem with this version of marriage is because of what their bible tells them. Most of the time, especially with gay marriage, the only reason behind this kind of hate is from what a bible says is right or wrong. Forget Jesus for a moment! Forget Moses, Aaron, and Miriam! Forget Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob! Forget Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah for a moment! What is a non-religious reason, based on set of morals that was not influenced by the bible, of why a man cannot be happily married to another man or a woman with a woman? Most people can’t come up with a logical, well founded reason that has nothing to do with the bible. “Because it’s not right” doesn’t count as an answer. Why isn’t it right? Usually because of what they were taught, which comes from the bible.

I would raise concern when a human tries to partner with another organism. I would agree on this subject; the marriage between a human and another type of animal is crossing an invisible line. However, a human-to-human relationship/marriage is perfectly normal, healthy, and acceptable.

With all of the corruption, pain, and treachery in the world, it is difficult to be happy. No matter who you’re attracted to, find happiness. When you find the person who brings you the most joy in life, run to them. Run, hold their hand, and never let it go. When you find happiness, when you find the person you want to live your life with, never let them go. This assumes that you’re in a healthy relationship; if it is not, then a divorce might be necessary. In any case, find happiness and never let it go. If you do let it go, you might never be able to find it again. You have the right to be with the person you want to be with, no matter the gender.

This is why I find gay marriage to be acceptable. If you are reading this and you are gay or lesbian, then go forth into the world without fear. You, as a human being,  are entitled to be happy, so go find the person who makes you the happiest.


If you agree, or disagree, it would be illuminating to know why in the comments bellow.


7 thoughts on “Who is your other half?

  1. Elia, this article is a light shed on quite a controversial subject. What courage and bravery it takes to write about such ideas. I commend you for compiling all of your thoughts into one insightful and thought provoking article. Your theory that we as humanity need to change our mindsets to that of inclusion and love is great! Some things could be improved, such as the generalizations that all Christians do not believe in same-sex marriage. It seems that the type of Christians you are referring to in your article are called Fundamentalists and only make up a fraction of the God-believing American culture – though they are a very loud group! As a reader, I am curious as to what your beliefs are so I can connect with you on a deeper level.

    On a personal note:

    **As this is a public posting, please read below at your own risk, especially if you find the Bible offensive**

    I, too, at a young age believed such as you – to give the right to marry to all humans, gay or straight and still do to this day. The difference between my younger self and now is my switch from Atheism to Christian, respectively. I am a lesbian and I have a partner of two years and we plan to marry now that the laws have changed.

    Through a deeper look, you will find that there are different groups of Christians and the ones you seem to be referring to are called Fundamentalists. The Fundamentalists believe that the teachings of the Bible should be taken literally, but the problem with this is that it enthuses hate and discrimination which leads to condemnation. In John 3:16-17, Jesus sets the world straight when he says “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son and whoever believes in Him shall have everlasting life. For God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.” This states that Jesus absolutely did not come to this world to condemn people, but to save them (this is why he hung out with sinners all the time). Condemnation is a human fallacy given to us by the enemy (the devil) and the Fundamentalists use this to make us feel unworthy. As a Christian myself, I believe in inclusion and not that the Bible teaches hate, but to be like Jesus (Galatians 5:22) and to spread the love that He desired for all of us.

    In your article, the Fundamentalists have lost touch with Jesus’ sole teachings, as you have bluntly pointed out (well done!). One important teaching of Jesus is described in Matthew 22:36-40, ‘[the greatest commandment] is to love your God with all your heart, soul and mind and also to love your neighbor as yourself.’ Here Jesus is teaching an eager student about the highest commandment that should be held above all other commandments within the Bible. Jesus taught many lessons, but at the heart of all of them was unconditional love and I believe the Fundamentalists have forgotten this.

    While your point to take the Bible out of the picture to allow gays to marry is a good idea and would, thus according to your argument, cut down on discrimination and hate, this would be a difficult method to achieve since more than half of the American population believes in God. On a similar note, I think the answer lies in keeping the Bible in the picture and spread truth and love, which is what Jesus would want of us after all. At the same time, this does not mean we can hate our brothers and sisters because they do not believe in our happiness and right to marry whoever makes us happy. After all this, we still need to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

    Part of what kept me being an atheist for so long, was the hate and condemnation from other ‘Christians.’ I wanted no part of hating my brothers and sisters. That said, don’t take other peoples’ word for what it really says in the Bible. You may need to take a deeper look at the Bible because what we all hear from the media, politics and what is happening in the world, is not the truth. Man is okay at interpretation but even better at twisting the truth to make it fit his agenda. From my experience, it is okay to be gay and happy and to serve the Lord all at the same time – and no, it does not include celibacy! I can say that today, without God’s love and grace I would still be feeling hopeless, depressed and an abomination.

    Elia, we need more young people like you. Keep spreading equality and do not stay silent!



    • My apologies for the generalization. It might have come across that way because I don’t know what type of Christian the boy was, I don’t know the different Christian subgroups very well, and the different types get muddled in my head making it hard to distinguish what type I’m trying to refer to. I will keep the name in mind though for future articles.

      My beliefs are exactly what I wrote about. Religion should not dictate whether or not two human beings are allowed to marry and become partners. You can have a religious ceremony, but religion should not be allowed to prevent you from partnership with another human being.

      Congratulations. I hope your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. Also, congratulations on being allowed to marry your partner. In a perfect world, I would never need to write that last sentence, but it’s not a perfect world, however I’m trying to make it better!

      In Judaism, the group that takes the bible literally is called “Orthodox Judaism”. This means that when the old testament sais “man” can do this and that, it is just referring to men. Women are excluded. An example of this is that girls of the age of 12 cannot have a bat mitzvah, but 13 year-old-boys can. I had my bat mitzvah in spring of 2013, but I’m not orthodox. Within the orthodox category, there is a wide range of strictness, and I don’t know those sub groups too well.
      There is a midrash, a story that is not part of the tanach but helps explain it, that basically teaches “love thy neighbor as thy love thyself”. It was about something with borrowing an ox, but it got hurt, and maybe a plow, but that broke down when used by the borrower.

      Most of the world believes in a devine spirit that is supposed to lead and help the human race who takes on different forms depending on the religion. This shouldn’t affect a person’s judgment on other’s actions and choices, especially in LGBT peoples’ marriages.

      If you really felt that terrible without religion, I’m glad you found something to believe in. At the same time, friends really help when you have awful thoughts swirling through your head. Maybe some new friends, or make a few more good friends (see The Definition(s) of “Friend”), would be beneficial to your mental and emotional health. I know friends have helped me with my health.


  2. http://abcnews.go.com/US/gay-cia-contractor-harassed-war-zone-issues-resolved/story?id=35309013
    Elia it is wonderful to hear your point of view on this subject. It took a lot of courage on your part to post how you feel on the subject of LGBT people. It is wonderful to see that the younger generation gets it. I have attached a link to just one person who was harassed for being gay. This issue has become a top story now because of equal rights for everyone. You sound very wise and mature. I can tell by what you have written that you come from a wonderful family background of acceptance for all. We are listening to what you have to say. Keep up the good work.


    • Thank you Kittie; I appreciate it. I don’t know if my generation as a whole understands, for some people at my high school have said some pretty nasty things about LGBT people, but some of us understand. I think it is because we understand the concept of LGBT more than the past generations, for it used to be nearly completely hidden from society.
      Raising awareness is the first step to equality, and I would say that my generation is much more aware of certain topics than the past generations when they were my age. The people in my honor classes at school I find are more open about being L, G, B, or T than the generations in the past. Perhaps this is a good thing, because society could be changing for the better, or it could be bad due the fact that we have accidentally created a new type of “label” or “human category”. I suppose it has to do with the mindset of people. Hopefully we can change the world’s mindset so that way coming out as being a LGBT person wont harm that person. I had a similar discussion with “Benedict” (she wrote in French) in the comments of “I love Israel and you should too”. Labels help us find people like ourselves, but they also make us inferior to each other. There are two sides to every story.


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