For Bad Days

I had a really bad day on Thursday. Every single class went wrong, including the most dangerous chemistry lab of the year. I didn’t kill anyone, but I did oxidize my lab partner’s skin. She looks like she has some splatter-paint-shaped birthmarks up and down her arm. I think I oxidized my nail of my right hand’s middle finger. It looks like a sea shell because it has light brown spots all over it. Lovely. When I got home, things didn’t get much better. The necklace that I was wearing broke when the cat no longer wanted to be held. Murphy’s law I guess. I’ll elaborate in another post.

My father sent me this email to cheer me up a bit. My mother sent me an email too, but that too will come later on a different post.

To all of you who are having a really bad day, please continue reading.

Sometimes the pain is not worth the fight but what is worth the fight is what you have. The support from your friends and family. They might not understand but try to think about how much you must be worth to them.

Society is made to make you feel worthless. People will judge you and comment on who you are. People don’t realize the pain within. You can be judged for anything in life and no one would care about your feelings anymore because all they care about is seeing you down because it builds up their own happiness and filthy thoughts. They don’t care about what they do because it is how society has made them.

Having to be perfect in your own skin is one of the hardest things in the world. Becoming so ashamed of who you are is one of the easiest things to achieve in life. It becomes a habit to make you feel more ashamed of yourself. You are used to the disappointment you and other people around you feel. Not being able to be proud of who you are is agonizing. Getting to the point of not being able to show your face out of your own room because you can all ready hear the aggression carving in to your brain. Why do people make someone feel so low? Just so you can make yourself think you are popular by making someone else feel low.

This is true for all ages, but apparently it is especially true for high school. No wonder my self esteem is completely torn apart every day. I can’t do anything right in this world. You can ask any one of my classmates, if you know who they are.

I am told that I don’t fit in. I am told that my generation likes to pick on people who are different. Knowing this is great, but I still end up crying myself to sleep every night, although not too many people care about that. Nor do they care to change their ways for the tears to stop flowing.

This is something that I have never understood, but maybe you, dear reader, can explain it to me. Why must we make each other feel miserable? Why must we treat each other so cruelly? Why do we have to pick on each other and make fun of each other when it really doesn’t help our own self esteem? Does this make us human?

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4 thoughts on “For Bad Days

  1. When people are insecure, the easiest way to feel “superior” is to attack others, like making fun, making people feel inferior……just remember that when people do make you feel like you don’t fit in, it is a reflection of their own insecurities And low self esteeem,. it is hard not to fall into that trap of being brought down by other people, but once you will find yourself, you will eventually realize that these people can not touch you anymore, easiest said than done I know, but it will happen!!!! Everyone has a really bad day once in a while….. But that day shall pass and another one will start much brighter!!! Keep sharing!

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  2. Hi, Elia! I just want to tell you that I admire you! You are such a big-hearted person with so much love for everyone and the world! It’s hard to come to the realization that not everyone has reached that same enlightenment (and may not). They may be more inward-focused or maybe even might be thinking similar thoughts of their own! Basically, we all want to be validated and loved in our humanness. Sometimes, that
    includes tons of foibles — but, hey — everybody’s got their good and their bad. We, as humans, don’t handle our reactions in the best way, at all times. You’re intelligent, gifted, smart, gregarious, with big ideas, and I bet so many people look up to you, but you just don’t know that. You are an inspiration, Elia. I want you to know that. You really are. I posted a peace bunny (two now) at my sote. I made that just for you, you know. You inspired it. I got off to a late start with holidays which just snuck up and practically passed me by. I had no idea about them til they passed or were last minute (and I’ve also had some really bad days, hee-hee! Must be something “in the air”, just to quote a term. Hopefully it’ll pass in a few days — sooner would be better!). I’m sorry to hear of the mishaps going on in your day. I hope your days are better soon, little Sis. Be well, take care,
    and I wish you many, many sunny days
    ahead. PS – Go see the bunny I sent you! It’s a peace sign.

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  3. Dear Elia,
    In my case, things were far worse in middle school–not to mention elementary school. However, as soon as I told my mother about this, she gave me a simple trick to make them stop: as soon as they start, just “ice over” and don’t give them what they want. This takes away their perceived reward, the thing they expect and that gives them their power and encouragement to continue…your reaction. Consider why they think being mean empowers them: what THEY do, what THEY think, what THEY say, has an effect on how YOU feel. Any reaction AT ALL gives them control of the situation, of another human being.
    That was the first and most basic step. Second, but by no means less important, was always this more difficult part:
    Never take what they say to heart. If they say awful things to you, what should it matter? Jealousy and hatred bear little weight and make absolutely no light in a dark room.
    Love, on the other hand…that is another thing entirely. That is what makes you stronger, that is your warm light in a sometimes dark lifetime. To give their unjustified wrath any importance is to acknowledge its strength, which only makes this whole thing worse than it needs to be. God loves you, and that’s enough for anyone if you love Him in return.
    The third piece of advice is also a preventive measure: don’t interact with them any more than you have to. In other words, just keep your distance. If you see them in the cafeteria, for instance, just continue on your way without talking to them and sit at some faraway table. After all, if they have “weapons”, why bother getting in range of them? Don’t walk straight into an unnecessary battlefield. If you’re in the same class and sit close to them, just keep the other two steps and get through victorious (a loss for them is a triumph for you, right ;). If you have to do a project or something with them, just get the work done and cooperate. If you do, it’s not like they can complain or pick a fight.
    As soon as I took her three pieces of advice, the bullying ended a few months later, if not once the school year was over. This method has worked every time, whether it was the same person/school or not!
    It may sound like you’re just giving in to the system, but the fact of the matter is you’re just transcending it by proving it’s not as all-powerful as it’s cracked up to be. To do such a thing takes time and the ability to swallow one’s own pride for a while.
    As for your questions at the end:
    There is honestly no “must” in the vices you described above: it all boils down to desire, desperation, or both. There are some who desire one thing or another (control, liberty, attention, happiness, inner peace, etc.), yet they go about trying to get it in the wrongest possible ways. When they don’t find it, they can turn a new leaf/bury the hatchet, or they can flail even more desperately and dig themselves into a deeper pit than before. Others might have the same desires, but they find the true answers through goodness and kindness towards others.
    Do these vices and sins make us human…in and of themselves, no. What does make us human, though, is the ability to distinguish them for what they are, as well as acknowledge what is good and right…then to choose which path we follow. This understanding and this decision sets us apart from animals: if an animal does something sinful, it is not because it’s sinning–it’s because it simply does what it does to survive and reproduce. We humans are different, though: we’re capable of sinning because we can choose based on right and wrong (even deciding which side has our loyalty). Even those who don’t really know right from wrong are capable of such immense love that survival or benefit has nothing to do with it!
    No, cruelty does not make us human…because we can also choose Love in order to extinguish it once and for all.

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    • P.S. In the first sentence, I meant to type “worse…THAN IN HIGH SCHOOL”. XD I don’t really know your situation well enough to end the sentence there, anyway XD. Thankfully, bullies are like serial killers: there are usually common denominators.
      O.0…I just realized how dark that comparison was XD! NO, I AM NOT CALLING ANYONE A SERIAL KILLER!
      Just clarifying :).

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