I had a really bad day on Thursday. Every single class went wrong, including the most dangerous chemistry lab of the year. I didn’t kill anyone, but I did oxidize my lab partner’s skin. She looks like she has some splatter-paint-shaped birthmarks up and down her arm. I think I oxidized my nail of my right hand’s middle finger. It looks like a sea shell because it has light brown spots all over it. Lovely. When I got home, things didn’t get much better. The necklace that I was wearing broke when the cat no longer wanted to be held. Murphy’s law I guess. I’ll elaborate in another post.
My father sent me this email to cheer me up a bit. My mother sent me an email too, but that too will come later on a different post.
To all of you who are having a really bad day, please continue reading.
Sometimes the pain is not worth the fight but what is worth the fight is what you have. The support from your friends and family. They might not understand but try to think about how much you must be worth to them.
Society is made to make you feel worthless. People will judge you and comment on who you are. People don’t realize the pain within. You can be judged for anything in life and no one would care about your feelings anymore because all they care about is seeing you down because it builds up their own happiness and filthy thoughts. They don’t care about what they do because it is how society has made them.
Having to be perfect in your own skin is one of the hardest things in the world. Becoming so ashamed of who you are is one of the easiest things to achieve in life. It becomes a habit to make you feel more ashamed of yourself. You are used to the disappointment you and other people around you feel. Not being able to be proud of who you are is agonizing. Getting to the point of not being able to show your face out of your own room because you can all ready hear the aggression carving in to your brain. Why do people make someone feel so low? Just so you can make yourself think you are popular by making someone else feel low.
This is true for all ages, but apparently it is especially true for high school. No wonder my self esteem is completely torn apart every day. I can’t do anything right in this world. You can ask any one of my classmates, if you know who they are.
I am told that I don’t fit in. I am told that my generation likes to pick on people who are different. Knowing this is great, but I still end up crying myself to sleep every night, although not too many people care about that. Nor do they care to change their ways for the tears to stop flowing.
This is something that I have never understood, but maybe you, dear reader, can explain it to me. Why must we make each other feel miserable? Why must we treat each other so cruelly? Why do we have to pick on each other and make fun of each other when it really doesn’t help our own self esteem? Does this make us human?